French Jokes

The US troops found some little known books in Iraq with the following titles:

• How to Hide Your WMDs by Saddam Hussein
• 101 Ways to Fool Inspectors by Saddam Hussein
• The Torturer's Bible by Ude Hussein
• The Complete Book of Appeasement by Jacques Chiraq
• The French Guide to Screwing Your Allies by Jacques Chiraq
• Who Put the "Iraq" in Jacques Chiraq by Vlad Putin

Once upon a time in a nice little forest, their lived and orphaned bunny and a orphaned snake.

By a surprising coincidence, both were blind from birth. One day, the bunny was hopping thru the forest, and the snake was slithering thru the forest. The bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, jolted the snake a bit.

"Oh my", said the bunny,

"I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth, so I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am."

"It's quite OK," replied the snake.

"Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you and figure out what you are."

"Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny.

So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches, and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say you must be a bunny rabbit."

"Oh thank you, thank you", cried the bunny, in obvious excitement. The bunny then suggested to the snake, "maybe I can feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way you helped me." So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're smooth and slippery, you have a forked tongue, no backbone, and no balls. I'd say you must be French!"

What's the french favorite wine?
I 'm afraid of war. - submitted by ARIZONA

Go to Google and type "French Military Victories" and press the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button, for enjoyable display

Once a Frenchman, an Englishman and an Irishman were sentenced to be whipped 100 times. They had the option to make it less painful by putting anything they wanted on their backs. The Frenchman, knowing alcohol eases pain, asked to have French beer on his back. The Englishman did they same with English beer. But the Irishman asked to put the Frenchman on his back!

How many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known; it's never been tried

What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training?
How to surrender in at least 10 languages

Why did the French celebrate their World Cup Championship in 2000 so wildly? It was their first time they won anything without the help of the U.S.

Why do the French Smell? A: So blind people can hate them too!

Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*? Because it doesn't really exist

Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama? So the French can show them how to surrender.

What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? A Salesman.

Should the U.S. give back the Statue of Liberty to France? They wouldn't take it. It doesn't have any hair in the arm pits

France banned the display of fireworks at EuroDisney. Last night when the fireworks went off, the French Army surrendered!

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